Earlier this week, we received a box from the mail-order pharmacy where we get Harv's chemo. We didn't open the box because we (incorrectly) assumed that it had the correct amount of pills -- the 14 that should've been added to his earlier prescription + the new prescription.  He opened the box today and we found out they had only included the 14 that should've been added. 

So I called the mail-order pharmacy to investigate. It's sort of complicated to relay it all, but just try to imagine ominous music building up slowly in the background as I discovered that they were waiting for a pre-authorization from the doctor (WHO PRESCRIBED THE DAMN PILLS IN THE FIRST PLACE!). The calm, lovely, patient Carrie turned into MEAN LADY. Long story short, the pills are on their way. (ugh!)

Why do drug companies do that?! Dadgummit! Every call we receive from the mail-order pharmacy is a recording. You'd think that if someone were ordering CHEMOTHERAPY that it would be important enough to have a REAL PERSON let them know that the order was not approved. (I better stop. My blood is starting to boil again.)

Anyway! Thankfully, we got that resolved.

In other news, Harv and the girls (and Raney!) are on a father/daughters camping trip...and Carrie is enjoying some time alone in the house. (I can't believe that Raney went, too.) I haven't done very much -- counseling, cleaning out the (amazingly disgusting) food recycle bin, a craft project, ran a few errands, etc. 

But today (with the help of my counselor) I realized that all my control-freakism and impatience and frustration and anger all come from fear. Fear. 

If I say I'm afraid, then what does THAT mean?! I don't WANT to be afraid. I've tried so hard not to be in denial, but I've been holding back the fear... And, if I'm afraid does that mean I don't have hope? And, if I don't have hope, then what happens? 

I'm still processing it all...

But, for now -- we are thankful that Harv is doing well -- though, I think the increase in the chemo dosage has increased a few of the side effects (tired, perhaps a mouth sore or two). He's been hiking 6-8 miles on Galbraith 5-6 days a week. He found out there are between 98 and 100 trails on Galbraith and he and Raney have hiked all but about 15 of those. Pretty impressive, wouldn't you say?!

Thank you, friends, for continuing to pray and for loving us. I sure wish we hadn't started down this road, but you people have certainly helped make the journey easier.

We love you.