Harv had a CT scan today and an appointment with Dr. Lin. (I am still in Georgia so I'm reporting second-hand.)

His CEA count is at about 15 -- which is an increase. The tumor that they radiated in Jan/Feb. doesn't show any increase, but there's another tumor in his liver that does appear to have increased in size... Dr. Lin would like to try one of two types of radiation. One is similar to what he had before. The other possibility is a one-time deal where they shoot the radiation directly at tumor -- through groin using a catheter-type instrument. Either of those two options are gonna take some time (possibly up to a month) to arrange -- both from the stand-point of insurance and just logistically with docs, etc. 

They won't do any kind of chemo right now...but may do some after radiation.

Dr. Lin is a bit baffled by Harv's shoulder/neck pain, but we're also kinda waiting to see if one of the meds Harv is taking kicks in soon. He's been slowly increasing dose with the hopes of avoiding shortness of breath.

I think I've covered it all.

Peace, hope and lots of love to you all.

Southern Love

Picture this:

As soon as word got out about Laura, all those who have loved her so well in Leesburg FLEW into action.

Somebody got the key to the house. Sheets were changed. The house was cleaned. Food was prepared.  A refrigerator was rented to store the extra food (!). The grass was cut. The yard was "tidied". Vases of beautifully arranged homegrown flowers were placed in every single room in the house.

Then all those same people anxiously awaited the arrival of the rest of us so lots of hugs could be exchanged.

That is a picture of southern love.... one of many... 

And it continues.

One of the best people I have ever known in my life died this morning. I can't quite grasp it. It still doesn't seem real. 

I am so thankful that I saw her just last week...

I am thankful for her good friends and my good siblings and her children who have loved her fiercely and many of whom were by her side when she left. I am thankful that I was able to tell her I love her before she let go.

Many of you have been a great support to our family and we are more thankful than we can say.

I'm on my way to Atlanta now. All of her children are together and my siblings are together, too... It will be good to get there to hug them for real.

We are deeply sad, but thankful that she no longer has to fight. She has won.

I am picturing her right now on heaven's front porch with Mama and Papa. It's a peaceful thought. 

Available

Through the years I have thought about getting a "real" job... I was happy to be able to be at home when my girls were little... I thought I'd go back to work when they were in middle school or high school. And then Harv was diagnosed with cancer and I was thankful that I could be at home to help him and go to appointments.

I still often wonder about working, but it occurred to me the other day -- through more than one circumstance -- that maybe what my job has been and should continue to be -- at least for now -- is "available."

Thankful that "available" is an option for me.

Family

Here's something I know. It is a wonderful and powerful thing to have a church family.  I've seen singles turn into marrieds. I've seen those marrieds have children. I've seen those children grow up. I've seen wise and wonderful people get older. Families have grown. We've shared sadnesses and joys. We've gotten frustrated with each other. We've laughed together.... shared meals together...and a glass or two of wine sometimes. 

I don't really understand or totally agree with everything in the Bible or everything that my church and my denomination believes....

But this I know: When I go to church, I feel embraced way down deep in my soul. I love looking at the congregation from where I sit and seeing families in "their" spots. I love seeing children grow up. I love being moved by the music and trying to absorb the message that is preached.  I love the awkward "passing of the peace" and the smiles and hugs that go with that. I love sharing my life with people who also struggle --- either with the same things I do or with different things. I love that my children have formed what I hope are life-long friendships. I love that they have a safe place to explore their faith.

Doubts will continue for me, I'm sure. But there is something extremely mysterious and awesome about a church family... It brings something inexplicably SOLID to life in the midst of many questions.

****
And, P.S. -- I feel this way about the church where I grew up, too. Family then. Family now. Family forever. Amen. And amen!