Recently, I received an envelope full of newsletter + pamphlet on grieving from an organization that I know of and I just wanna say... 

I know that the people who send those things are trying to help me through my grief. They mean well and they want me to heal and feel better again... I totally get it and I respect their calling to help others through grief... Because grief is hard. 

But I'm just gonna say it: when I see those things -- that I KNOW are meant to help me and are sent with concern -- the first feeling I have is anger. 

I don't want to read any information about grief. I don't want to hear that anybody else has cancer. I don't want to volunteer to walk or ride or skip or jump or whatever to raise money to save lives of those with cancer... I've had enough cancer for a while...

Someday, I might want to jump back into fundraising and cancer support. Someday I may be the one who sends out the newsletter to the grieving community.

But for now... I don't want to have lessons on how to grieve better or participate in anything that relates to cancer.

I just want to get through (what seems to be interminable) grieving for all the ones I've lost over the past eight years... 

I mean no harm... but I don't want any lessons right now...

That's all...