Harv continues to be more confused and disoriented. He catches himself sometimes and realizes that what he's saying doesn't really connect... but sometimes he doesn't know it. He is sleeping most of the day. He gets up in the night about 3 times to drink a glass of milk. His mind seems to be whirling all the time and that's where I think the confusion comes in... He's never really sure what time it is and sometimes he has dreams that seem very real.
Yesterday the nurse came and checked his blood pressure, heart rate and oxygen & all were good. She seemed to think he was pretty aware even though she witnessed some of his confusion. So... I kinda felt better about that, but he really didn't sleep very well through the night. He came to get me once or twice and then I'm pretty sure he got up on his own once...
Hospice nurse comes again tomorrow. I'll have a few questions for her.
He's still Harv in there somewhere, but he's also not.
I don't know what the next steps will be or when they will happen. I will just do the best I can with the information I have and hope for a peaceful transition when the time comes... (Kinda makes me sick to say that.)
Every day somebody does something sweet for us... Sometimes it's cookies during the Seahawks game. Sometimes a friend sits with Harv while I run errands. Sometimes it's somebody bringin' the good kinda ice for Harv to crunch. Sometimes it's a text or a card or a Facebook message... People do my laundry and walk my dog and clean my house... People take my garbage to the street... And help me with the yard. People bring me food and wine and visit with me. People do wonderful things for our children. How does a person ever express how grateful they are for that kinda goodness?!
I have no idea how to navigate these waters, but I know that I am surrounded -- and my children are surrounded -- by people who will help us...who ARE helping us.
If you're so inclined, please pray that Harvey and I BOTH sleep well tonight and that I can make a wise decision about when the right time is to move Harv to Hospice House. I want to do the right thing for Harv and I want to make a decision that is right for all of us.
Thank you so much for all of your support. How in the WORLD would we do it without you all?