Friday, September 13, 2013

Some (sort of) random thoughts --

Almost two years ago, we weren't sure what our future looked like... Harv had just turned 49 and his prognosis was not pretty. But, we met Dr. Lin and the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance staff and we began the arduous journey to try to rid our lives of cancer. And, we have made some good progress... Many rounds of chemo, two surgeries and many trips to and from Seattle.

During that time, we were able to take a trip to the Grand Canyon and two trips to the Washington coast and Harv and I were able to go to Maui a couple of times.  For most of the past two years, Harv has felt pretty good (in relation to the fact that he's been on some form of chemo for most of that time). He has set goals and has achieved them. Last summer (2012) he hiked all the trails of Galbraith. (Raney remembers those days with fondness :-) ) And, this winter he wrote a book and had it published. The time he's had at home to focus on healing has, in fact, I believe, been healing.

If I were able to control him, :-) I would, perhaps, make him drink more water, go to bed earlier, eat somewhat better foods and just sit around idly a little bit more. But, he seems to know what his body needs...(even though I'm sure I know better.)

We have had some good family times. In many ways, I believe Harv has had the most fun he's had in all our married days with children. He gets to be at home all the time with all of his girls. A dream he's had for as long as I've known him. And, while his brain doesn't ever turn off, he's been able to live a relatively stress-free life without having travel or work worries.

As for me, I've tried very hard to learn how to live in, what has come to be, the "new normal." (I hate that phrase, by the way.) Some days I do very well. Other days I'm awful at it. And, more days than I can count, I struggle internally with just about everything I do or say or don't do or don't say.  I can't figure out why it's been so hard for me... There are so many blessings in the midst of our lives...DAILY. Still, it has been quite the journey for me.

Monday, Harv will turn 51! Two years ago, we weren't sure if we'd get to celebrate this birthday. But we do!  Yippee!

Next Wednesday he has a CT scan to see if the latest rounds of treatment have made enough of a difference in the tumors that are left in his liver so that he can have another liver surgery. If we got to run the world, we would definitely make sure that those tumors were small enough. (Well, if we were running the world, nobody would have cancer at all.)... 

I suppose I'm praying for a miracle again. 'Cause I really want him to be able to have liver surgery so that we can get rid of most of the tumors that are left in his system. The numbers that we've seen in recent blood work have not been dramatic so we're a little bit cautious in our optimism for the possibility of surgery.  But we don't know that it CAN'T be done yet so I'm 'onna still pray that it CAN happen. I would love it if you prayed with me... Maybe God will get tired of our noise and just give us what we want. :-)

Thank you so much for taking this journey with us...for your tangible and intangible ways of supporting us...for loving us...for praying for us.  If ever there was a gift in the midst of this, it's the love and support we've felt from so many in so many ways.

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