Thursday, June 27, 2013

Let's see how full we can make this summer

Harv heard from Dr. Park's assistant today and she said that Dr. Park would like to schedule another CT scan for July and tentatively plan for surgery on Saturday, July 27th....

So, depending on what the CT scan says, Harv might get to shrink his liver a little bit more... Not sure about the reversal of the colostomy. That might not happen at the same time. Whatever the doctors think is best is what will happen...and we're cool with that.... (I'd just be happy not to have to go to Seattle so often.)

Thanks for praying.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Today is not like yesterday.

We are going to Whistler. Harv is improving with some meds and dietary adjustments.
Yesterday wasn't so great. Today is better. 
Isn't it funny how different one day can be from the next?

Thank you for your prayers.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Cancer sucks

There have been many days during the past year and a half that have been very good... Harv's responded well to treatment. His numbers that should've gone down, did go down. He had two successful surgeries... He's set goals to get better sooner, by walking a lot and getting physically stronger...and ACCOMPLISHED those goals.  He's been able to concentrate on healing without the added stress of traveling for work or the challenging demands that his work required. We've had some quality time as a family and have been able to BE together (not that I don't value alone time. ;-)  )... And, he has felt relatively good for a man who was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.

But there are days that I think really suck. There are parts of this disease that I really resent. There are little tiny details that I don't share because they are not details people want me to share or that people want to read -- but I will say that there have been "interruptions" in the way we live that I find frustrating... And, even after a year and half of trying to adjust, I still want to throw myself on the floor and kick and scream and thrash about while I yell at God to do what I want him to do. 

My life was pretty neat and tidy before. It was fairly predictable. It had a nice balance of time with others and time by myself. I could be selfish while nobody really noticed. There was a "leisure" about taking care of my family. And, I'm pretty sure I was way more relaxed.

Things are not BAD right now, but I feel my neck gettin' stressed. Harv's experiencing some stomach upset lately and we're trying to straighten that out. We're not sure what's causing it, but Harv believes it's the Xeloda. If it IS the Xeloda, we're not sure why it's buggin' him NOW when it didn't really bother him in the past.  I think sometimes not knowing why something is happening is more stressful than knowing -- even if knowing is unpleasant. It always seems like when you KNOW what's happening, there might be a solution. When you DON'T know, you can't really DO anything. 

And, then there's the caregiver/patient relationship... Harv doesn't want to be the patient..and I don't really LOVE being the caregiver. Part of my role involves asking a million questions repeatedly to get to the bottom of things so I can find a solution. This, for some reason, causes some irritability with him. (Go figure!) And, that can cause a little tiny strain in our relationship. 

So! Today Harv is taking meds to help with stomach issues and he gets to start the BRAT diet. Please pray that the meds and the diet work so that he can heal.  And, he's supposed to be loading up with fluids, too so he doesn't get dehydrated.

Whistler might have to be on "hold" if he's not feeling better by tomorrow morning. The thought of doing an emergency drive back home is not very appealing. But maybe things WILL get better and we can go have a fun weekend in the mountains with our French daughter, Julie. (Praying that will be so.)

Thank you for bearing with me...and allowing me to vent.

I am thankful that I also have a counselor who helps me process...on my way there shortly. :-)

Many blessings to you all today.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Dr. Lin said that CEA was 6.8 which is a slight increase since last month, but not gigantic... He says "stay the course" and aim for surgery soon...not sure how soon that means, though. I don't think it's awful news, but if I had my druthers, I'd wish for lower CEA. But, we're okay. And, gettin' better I do believe.

In other news : S & H now have their driver's licenses and we are gonna celebrate their birthday tonight and then a little more this weekend. Family trip to Whistler. Our first. That'll be fun.

I'm whooped.

Thank you for your continued prayers.
We love you.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013


CT scan people were running late so we didn't get a complete report today (but it will come)... But Dr. Lin said that the liver indicators were good. And, it looks like the liver is regenerating nicely. CEA count wasn't available at the time of our appt., but from the pictures it appears that no new tumors are visible. (We don't REALLY know, but when we see the CEA count, it'll help us to know better.)

Dr. Lin said that if the CEA is the same or lower then we'd continue with the Xeloda for a little while longer. If it appears that the CEA count is getting higher, then he would recommend surgery very soon. And, he said that MAAAAAAAAAYBE it would be possible to do a reversal of the colostomy.... That, though, would have to be determined by the surgeon.

We hope to get a complete report soon and when we know more, we'll share more.

Tonight we are all tired from a very full day in Seattle. We now have our French "daughter," Julie, and are looking forward to getting to know her and showing her the wonderful world that is Bellingham.

Tomorrow my babies will be sixteen! Can't believe it. Very thankful for the blessing of those little baby girls. :-)

Thanks for your support. Thank you for your prayers. 

We love you.

Monday, June 10, 2013

CT Scan tomorrow

CT scan tomorrow. Praying that it shows a healthily growing liver and no new cancer. 

Harv's been having some upset stomach so we'll let Dr. Lin know and maybe he can adjust Harv's dosage.  He's been walking a fair bit and, for the most part, feeling okay. This time it seems like the Xeloda might be buggin' him differently. Maybe that's 'cause he's growing a liver and his liver is processing it differently. ???

ANYWAY. We are hoping for good news. 

In addition to a CT scan tomorrow, we get a French daughter/sister for a couple of weeks. She's a French exchange student who is 15 and will be hangin' out with us and learning English and the way of life in Bellingham and our house. We're excited! 

On Wednesday, Sarah and Hannah turn sixteen!!!!!!!! (How the heck did THAT happen?!) 

Sarah Elizabeth Chute
Hannah Grace Chute 

So! This is a busy time in our house.

We are praying for a safe, uneventful and efficient trip down to Seattle. (We have to go by way of the bridge that collapsed so we'll be re-routed...don't want delays on the way). We are praying for good news at the doctor's office. And, we are praying for a really fun, happy two weeks with our temporary family member, Julie.

Thanks for tuning in. 
Many blessings. 
Love you.