Yesterday was a full day.
Harv and I met earlier in the day with an estate planner so we can make sure our lives are in order...wills, planning for the girls, etc. The man we met with was really great. I feel good about trusting him with those details. But, I didn't actually have fun at that meeting. So, I suppose I left there just a little bit heavy hearted. Not crazy, but it forced me to look at something I hope is not necessary to utilize for quite some time.
And, then, we had our meeting with the Bellingham doctor. I like him. He's just a "little boy," ;-) but I like him. He seems like a gentle and kind person and he has a golden retriever -- So, he's got to be a pretty good human if he has a golden!
But, there were things that didn't sit right with me... Nothing I could put my finger on specifically, but something just the same. Please don't misunderstand. From what I can tell, he knows what he's doing. And, I'm sure he's helped and will continue to help many other patients --- but he did not fill me with the same kind of hope that I received from meeting with Dr. Lin. And, that, too, caused my heart to get a little heavier. (But, as a friend reminded me -- that just confirms that we have chosen the right doctor for US.)
I realize that there are going to be days when my heart is heavier than I want it to be. I may even share my thoughts sometimes on those days. But, I want you to know that my hope has not disappeared on those days. It's there. It's just temporarily covered by a cloud.
Part of the "cloud" is simply the fear of the unknown. We know NOTHING. We SORT of know what to expect from chemo, but we won't REALLY know until we get there. Knowing (even if it's unpleasant) is easier, I think, than not knowing.
So... the plan continues to be to head down to Seattle on Tuesday and start beatin' up on that stupid, @#%&!@#%&!# cancer.
Thanks for your many ways of supporting us.