Saturday, December 26, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
As I walked back to the house, my mind came up with a few possibilites, but I was NOT expecting what I found when I opened the box.
Inside the well-wrapped and well-taped box were 4 other boxes. And those boxes held the 50 some-odd years' worth of Mama's recipes.
The tears started unexpectedly. There was something very personal and real about having the recipes my mother used and added to for years.
The emotion remains.
Friday, June 26, 2009
- chili only dog (and write tally marks (not actual numbers) next to that depending on how many people wanted 'em.)
- PC (usually only two tally marks -- for him and Mama)
- FO (that was my order)
- onion rings (one tally mark)
- fries (one tally mark)
And, to tell you the truth, I don't have any idea what everybody else ordered. I think Mary Celeste ordered a hamburger.
And when we were young, we used to love to take about 5 straws from the straw container and put them together and pretend like they were very long cigarettes.
Anyway! When I started to remember how my father took our order, it made me think of his handwriting -- which led to me thinking about a lot of teeny weensy (an expression he also used) other things that I loved about my father, which were really just teeny weensy things. And yet, they were things that made my father, my father.
- the way he loved to sit on the front porch during thunderstorms
- the special bed he made on the floorboard of the car when we went on long trips
- the way he folded towels
- the way he brushed his teeth (I still can hear that sound)
- the way he said "Amen" after he heard good church music
- the way he raked leaves and worked in the yard
- the way he swept and mopped the front porch
- the way he turned around to back up the car
- the way he rubbed my legs when I had growing pains
- the way he wrapped me up in a towel and carried me back to my bedroom after a bath
- silly songs he sang like: "Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You look like a monkey and you smell like one, too." and "Hattie was in the garden howin' 'round the 'maters. Hattie ran 'round the huckleberry bush and I hit her in the eye with a tater."
- his silly little recitation: "Ma, make 'Lian leave Jule alone." (Lillian and Julie)
- the tears in his eyes when he sang old songs
- the way he answered the phone at work.... "Rrrobert Hall"
- riding the waves with him at Jekyll
- the way he hugged relatives and people he loved
- seein' him talk to Uncle Wheeler on the front porch when Uncle Wheeler and Aunt Ruby would come to Atlanta
It's funny how one little memory can spark lots of others.
What a blessing to have had a father who gave me memories in which I can take comfort even now.
It's the little things that warm my heart.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
This morning I picked it up and read the first few pages. The first one jumped out at me beacause the title was: Read this Introduction. Interesting that she knew that I often times prefer NOT to read the introductions of books. AND! Interesting that I must not be the only one.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
There once was a man who was many things.
He was a husband and a father and an architect and an officer in the church and a friend.
He laughed a lot, and he worked hard.
He was sensitive and he was firm.
He spanked me and he also hugged me.
He was quiet so I didn't always know what he was thinking.
But I always knew he loved me.
He was a good, good man.
And, words do not express how much I loved him.
And, words do not express how much I miss him.
He was a good, good man.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Up the old pile
And the hill
She makes it.
I squeak a
Ball and her
Prick up, like
I’ll do it one more time.
And when I do,
Down the broken, wooden
For the dog who is like
She’ll knock you
Despite the size.
She grabs the
Ball and at last
Runs away with it.
She looks like someone
Who has just
Gotten a bite
Too big to chew-
The ball is too
Big for her mouth.
When she waits
by the gate
Let her out,
The cat is nearby.
She pulls, and
I let her out of
Out from my
Vision, I see
Her trot to
latch and hurry
I see a tiny,
Paw swipe at
She backs up,
I drag her,
At the door.
And rushes to
close the door.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
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Thursday, April 30, 2009
Please support me as I take an amazing journey in the fight against breast cancer! The Breast Cancer 3-Day is a 60-mile walk over the course of three days. Net proceeds benefit Susan G. Komen for the Cure and National Philanthropic Trust, funding important breast cancer research, education, screening, and treatment.
I'm walking this walk for my sister. For my cousin. For family who fought the fight already -- some of whom are survivors! I'm walking this walk for friends who are currently fighting breast cancer or who have in the past. And, I'm walking this walk for my daughters and the women of the future!
The treatment for breast cancer has come a long way since my aunts fought the fight in the early '70s but it still has a ways to go!! Your donation can help speed the process along.
I appreciate any donation you'd like to make.
Thank you in advance for your support!!
You can check out my blog which follows Laura's journey...
Friday, April 17, 2009
Yesterday it occurred to me that it's April already. APRIL, mind you!!! How in the world did it get to be APRIL?! It was just yesterday that we went to the middle school orientation LAST spring! My girls weren't even IN middle school a minute ago!!!
And, so, once again, I'm feeling a little scared and sad and sentimental.
I think it's possible that I'm a bit too critical of myself, but what scares me is that time is whizzing by and I'm feeling like I haven't spent enough time with my girls. I LOVE alone-time, but what if I've had too much?
Fear often leads me to pray...
I'm praying that I (and all the other mamas of the world) will learn to cherish the moments that are FLYING by...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Something you could do something about like a branch in a tree that doesn't belong there? Or a dirty bathroom sink that just needs a moment of your time so it doesn't look like no one cares? Or dirt on your floor that would only take a minute to sweep up?
Or maybe, like me, it's something a bit more "serious" like dreams you've had or things you've wished for? Like writing a book and having it published? Or, painting a painting that you've dreamed of for a long time? Or, maybe it's the dream of getting your body back into "pre-children" condition and your legs looking like Tea Leoni's legs in "Spanglish."
I'm not sure where people find the motivation to get things done all the time. There are some people, my husband and my sister included, who can't seem to dream fast enough. There's always some new idea or goal or interest that keeps them busy and learning.
Meanwhile, I continue to dream and do nothing about it. And, I have the nerve to get upset because he won't sit still with me.
Hmmm. Sounds unreasonable, if you ask me.
But where do I find this drive that I see in others? How do I break free from this prison of dreams with no wings? When do I begin to fly without fear?
Sometimes, I think I think too much.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Thinking about a dog story.
Thinking about a story with a character with a name I literally dreamed up.
Thinking about how challenging it is to be pleasant all the time with a toddler puppy.
Thinking about how messy and dirty my house is and how I wish it was clean.
Thinking (again) about whether I am really cut out for the writing world (as in going for publication).
Thinking about how I wish I was able to hang out with my sisters and brother without having to take a plane to get there.
Thinking about my mama and how I wish I could tell her stupid things throughout the day.
Thinking about how nice it would be to sit on the porch with Papa.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Raney's been a part of our family for one week.
What a full week it has been.
Feed, bathroom break, exercise, sleep, ... repeat.
Every day I try to make sure she gets plenty of exercise and I think I've done a pretty good job of it. Today, however, it's raining. Not just drizzle... The kind where you really need a rain coat on. Not sure how that's going to go.
We found out that she has a skin condition (the name of which I can't remember). So, I have to make sure I bathe her at least once a week with special shampoo and add special doggie fish oil to her food every-other-day. She also may have a slight "female" infection. Culture results back early next week. If so, more medicine.
Dogs are not like cats.
But then again, cats are not like dogs either. :-)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
She was happy to see me -- which is a nice way to be greeted first thing in the morning.
I took her outside and she took care of business. Both kinds.
Brought her in and played with her for a little while. Maybe not active enough, but maybe for 5:00 a.m.
At almost 6:00 a.m. I fed her. Now, in the past few days, her need to go outside after feeding her has not been immediate. There has been plenty of time to make a cup of coffee. Maybe not to drink the coffee, but surely to MAKE it.
Now, either she rang the bell while I was frothing my milk or this time she forgot to ring.
Next thing I know she's found the perfect spot in the family room to take care of business. I tried to stop her with my less-than-authoritarian "NO!" but I think it came out more like begging in a loud voice. She was halfway finished and it's not so easy to stop that. I think she realized, too late, that I wasn't so pleased. (Mind you, I didn't fuss, but it took me back to the days of training panties with the girls... I'd always heard not to get upset with your children when they had accidents, but that was a challenge for me. Same thing today, but I tried to remain loving in spite of what I was feeling.)
I took her outside and she wanted to eat the moss on the rocks.
The past was the past to her -- even if I was still reliving it in my head.
Hmm. Seems like a good doggie lesson for humans, huh?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I'm realizing that training can't come soon enough. While she HAS learned to ring the bell to go outside, she's not up to standards for walking on a leash. She is also easily distracted by sticks and moss and dirt. It's hard to help her use up energy when all she wants to do is eat sticks.
Today she's had a difficult time taking a nap. Partly, I believe, because she hears action around her while she's resting and it's hard not to want to be a part of that. What I've been doing is letting her fall asleep with me and then putting her in her crate... which worked fine yesterday, but not so well today.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Most of the times I've seen Great Blue Herons, they've been sitting still. From what I've seen, they sit there for a loooooong time just hangin' out, with their feet in the water, looking out over the horizon. Every time I've seen them, they look content. They're not in a hurry; they don't appear anxious; they're just hangin'.
Sunday afternoon, I saw this heron. He seemed pretty much the same as all the other herons I had seen. This time, though, I decided to get out of the car and take a few pictures. When I did, I noticed a few things: he seemed thoughtful about even the slightest of movements, he was aware of me and the girls, but he wasn't afraid, and when he finally decided to move, it was very deliberate.
It occurred to me that I could learn a thing or two from that heron:
- Think about what you're doing.
- Be aware of what's happening around you, but don't lose focus on your goals.
- Don't rush into things, but don't hang around forever without taking action.
- And, don't be afraid to move -- even if it means you don't get exactly what you want right away.
Hmm. Isn't it interesting when nature can teach you a lesson in life?
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
It made me begin to doubt not only God, but all things “God-related.” And yet, while I questioned, there was still a thread that connected me to the God I had believed in forever. That thread has always remained, even in the midst of my cynicism.
And, yesterday, as I continued to process the whole mess that’s been in my brain for all these years, I began to see that the fact that, many years ago God wasn’t being who I thought He was, just confirmed for me the thing I’ve come to love about him – He doesn’t fit in a box. He’s bigger than He used to be. He has bigger plans that include more people than just me.
Today our county woke up to flooded roadways and farmland. Schools are closed. Roads are closed.
For many years, I feel like I’ve had "closed roadways" in my heart. The roads that would’ve connected me more closely to the God I love have been blocked.
Yesterday, the floods began to recede and the roadways to my heart started to open up.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Some of my goals have made people roar with laughter. One year, my goal was to read five (yes, FIVE) books. When my girls were babies, reading anything was a challenge; finishing a book was a distant dream. I accomplished that goal, though!
One year my goals were house oriented: paint a room, remove some wallpaper, sew some curtains, paint a painting. I’m pretty sure I accomplished those goals, too.
Many years my goals are Harvey oriented: clean the gutters, build some shelves, make a screen door, clean his office. Still working on some of those. :-)
My goals this year are few: make a quilt, paint a painting, revise & submit my picture book, and walk often. Those seem do-able.
Here’s to a year of making things happen!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Last week, I gave in and went to church. Today I gave in and stayed home.
For quite some time now, I've struggled with where my faith is. It's frustrating to me because for most of my life, there weren't many questions -- just belief. In some ways, I think that's good and in others, I wonder how I could "blindly" believe things that seem "impossible."
About 15 years ago, I had an experience that caused me to begin to question God. From that point forward -- even after I'd come to the conclusion that it was possible that God had more people in mind than me -- the way I viewed the Christian faith was changed.
I'm confused. I don't feel the unwavering faith that I once did and that makes me insecure.
There are a few things that give me comfort, though. I love that God doesn't fit in a box anymore. I love that God loves all kinds of people -- even the ones I can't imagine loving. I love that God is trying to reassure me that my relationship with Him isn't based on how perfect I can be. I love that He persistently sticks with me -- regardless of my feelings of security or perfection.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Today, however, I realize that I actually WANT to write. I NEED to write.
I'm still not sure what form that writing will take. It may end up just being this blog forever and ever.
Be that as it may, I think it's in my blood. I will be writing forever....however it turns out, my words will have to be typed.
Thanks for suffering with me.